iBond With Bacon
by KeyLimePie14
Summary: One-shot. Sam's got a new pet, Squigley! But what happens when she refuses bacon because she's fearful she'll be consuming Squigley's relative? That's right! Her new pet is a...piglet! Sam-centric or Squam SamxSquigley!


**Here's a little background info. on this story as I'm sure a lot of you are wondering how in the heck I even came up with the idea. Well, I'll tell you. I was on Twitter today (which you should all follow me! Link is on my profile.) and I was chatting with my friends on there about this girl who killed her cat because Miley Cyrus deleted her Twitter (mileysavefuzzy, anyone heard of it?) well anyway, this girl just killed her cat and consumed it a few days ago and ALREADY she's adopted a dog. Seriously? It's messed up. So we were making snide remarks about it and somehow pigs and bacon came into the picture and...voila! This thing popped out! xD (and no, I am not on crack. lol. xD)**

**Enjoy!**

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**"iBond With Bacon"**

**FanFic by: KeyLimePie14**

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"Sam…? Where did you get a pig?" Carly looked up from setting the table for breakfast as her blonde friend walked through the front door, a small black and white spotted piglet trailing on a leash behind her. Freddie did the same and stared at the piglet in shock.

"Yeah…where did that come from?" He asked as he walked over to stand beside Carly. Sam just smirked and bent over to pick up her piglet.

"At that fair we went to yesterday! I went back last night because they were having this ham eating contest…"

"Wait. A fair was having a _ham eating contest?_ I thought they only had pie eating contests?" Freddie interrupted, still staring at the pig in Sam's arms. Sam glared at him for interrupting her but nodded and continued,

"_Yes, _Frednub, they were having a ham eating contest and I just had to enter." She paused as she reached down to scratch the pig's chin. "And of course I won!" She held the pig out and put it in Freddie's face. "First prize!" Freddie curled up his nose as the piglet stretched its neck out to smell him, and in the process ended up snorting snot into his face. Freddie reared back and wiped his face with his sleeve.

"Ew! God, Sam! Get that thing out of here, would you?" He grumbled. Carly's face mirrored Freddie's repulsion.

"Uhm…Sam…" She started off hesitantly, "What are you going to do with a piglet anyhow?" It was apparent that Sam had gotten quite attached to the little guy in the short expanse of time that she'd had him…or her.

"Well, I'm going to keep it! Duh!" Sam smiled, "Mom already Okayed it! And Frothy doesn't seem to mind him…so…." The little piglet oinked and glanced up at his owner. Sam lovingly scratched the area in between his ears.

"But still…pigs are….gross." Carly tried to hide her disgust in her friend's new pet, but it wasn't working very well as her nose curled up. "And they're always dirty."

Freddie scoffed. "Look who you're talking to Carly." Sam glanced up and glared at Freddie, before she turned to Carly.

"No, Carly! Squigley isn't dirty." She looked back down at Squigley. "Isn't that right Squigs?" The pig oinked in response.

"Maybe so...but still. Now you have two pets to take care of. Do you think you can handle it?" Carly was a bit apprehensive of her friend taking care of two animals when she could barely take care of herself. Sam wasn't exactly known as the most responsible girl in Seattle.

Sam huffed, "Carly..chill, okay? I can take care of him!" Freddie scoffed again, but chose to remain silent as Sam shot him daggers.

"Guys! Breakfast is ready!" Spencer called from the kitchen, as he turned around and noticed Sam for the first time. "Oh hey Sam!" His eyes fell to Squigley, who was still in Sam's arms. "And who is this little fella?" He cooed as he made his way over to the pig.

"Spence, meet my new pet pig Squigley!" Sam held the piglet out to Spencer just like she'd done to Freddie, but instead of being grossed out Spencer simply took Squigley into his own arms and coddled the piglet.

Sam's nose perked up the second she wasn't focused on her new pet. "Whoa! Is that bacon?" And with that she dashed across the apartment to the kitchen, where she found a large plate, piled high with golden-brown bacon strips. She grabbed a generous handful and shoved a few pieces into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

"You know…" Sam's eyes popped open and her features contorted into distaste when she saw that Freddie was standing so close to her and smirking. "You're probably eating one of Squigley's cousins right now. Or maybe even his mother…" Sam simply rolled her eyes at him and shoved the last of her bacon into her mouth.

"Whatever, Fredweird." She shoved him back a little and walked over to the stove to begin making herself a plate of food. She couldn't help however, to look over her shoulder a couple of times to see her new best friend squealing under all the attention he was getting and she gulped at the sickening feeling she got in the pit of her stomach.

**

Sam sat on the couch and stared at the television, Squigley was plopped on the cushion beside her as he nuzzled his face into her thigh begging for attention. Sam sighed and scratched his back without looking down at him.

Sam's stomach growled and she winced as it reminded her of what she'd consumed half an hour previous. Ever since breakfast she'd tried her hardest to not look Squigley in the eyes for every time she did her stomach flipped over. And not in a good way.

"Sam? Do you want this leftover bacon?" Sam cringed at Spencer's offer and she kindly declined him. Spencer's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he glanced down at the bacon in his hand sadly, not understanding Sam's actions.

"Did Sam just refuse bacon?" Freddie smirked, loving the opening she had just given him to taunt her. "You know Sam; you're probably doing Squigley's family a _huge _favor! If you aren't consuming pork products then you just saved all of Squigley's relatives!" Sam growled and in a flash she jumped up off the couch. She moved so quickly that poor Squigley, who had been resting his head on her lap, was thrown off the couch. He landed on the floor with a thud as he let out a pained squeal. He quickly regained his balance and scurried as quickly as his little feet would take him under the couch to what he presumed safety.

"Sam! Don't hit me!" Freddie jumped off of the barstool and ran behind the counter, ducking down as Sam leapt at him. Carly and Spencer stood by one another, both of their faces mirroring confusion. They weren't exactly sure why Sam had just gone off like that. Even with Freddie it took deeper taunting than that for her to physically beat the boy, no matter how much she enjoyed it.

Sam grabbed Freddie by the collar of his shirt and pulled him close to her face. "Take it back." She growled lowly, her eyes steely. Freddie gulped.

"What a-are you talking about?" He stuttered, trying to pull himself out of the blonde's grasp. Sam pulled him even closer.

"Take back what you said about me eating Squigley's mom." Freddie's face contorted into confusion for a second and then he broke out in laughter. Sam slackened her grip on his shirt and stared at him as if he'd finally lost his marbles.

"S-Sam…" When Freddie had calmed himself down enough to talk he eased himself out of her grip and stood up, offering his hand out to her. Sam ignored his hand as she stood up straight, still staring at him. "I was only kidding! Squigley is a pot-bellied pig. They don't butcher those!" Sam's face fell as she realized this small, but important fact.

"Oh…" She looked over at her pet to see his snout poking out from under the couch and she laughed. "Well, thank God!" She smirked and turned on her heel as she grabbed the leftover bacon out of Spencer's hand. "I wasn't sure I could last much longer!" She exclaimed. "Well!" She licked her lips and waved to them all as she headed for the door. "Squigs needs his shots and Mom promised to get her vet of a boyfriend over to the house to give them to him for free!" She then walked over to her piglet and grabbed his leash, tugging lightly on it. Squigley hopped up and obediently followed his owner to the door. "Late guys!" With that she opened the door and bounced out, letting it slam behind her leaving her group of bewildered friends behind her.

Spencer simply shrugged and went back to cleaning up the kitchen, but Carly turned to Freddie and asked, in a breathless tone, "What just _happened_?" Freddie stared after the door and shrugged.

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**Haha, I don't know what you all think but I actually kind of like how this turned out! :D It's cute! Oh! And I forgot to mention! There's a link to a picture of what Squigley looks like on my profile!(:**

**Now...review, por favor?**


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